Today has been a good day. This is how it went….
Spent the morning with my favourite coffee, getting to grips with the usual business and personal admin while looking at the sun rise from my office window at the back of the house, seeing the dogs play in the garden (when I say play, I mean destroy). Life is good.
In the afternoon I have the pleasure of seeing a lovely new client who unfortunately has chronic pain issues. We have a great session and she leaves feeling good, and I feel good. Everything is good.
I get a knock on the door. I’m feeling good so I open it to be greeted by a representative of let’s say a US based religious fraternity. As those of you who know me are aware I’m not a religious person (spiritual yes, but not religious), but I’m feeling good and I have an hour or so to spare before the next client so I think to myself why not, if nothing else it’s a bit of sporty banter to fill the afternoon.
I spend 10 or so minutes listening and nodding at the appropriate places, agreeing to the points I thought were valid and tactically keeping quiet through what I believe is all the tosh that goes with some religions. An appropriate gap in the conversation occurred and I launched into my own thoughts on the benefits of feeling spiritual and how some religions seem to thrive on fear, judgement and the constant need to ‘be a better person’. I got the expected retort and then something changed in my demeanor.
I started feeling as if I was being told I was wrong, that what I believed was incorrect and in some way I was unworthy. The pressure was building on me to be something else, something that I am not. After 53 years on this earth I was being told what was right and wrong, and how I should think if I wanted ‘salvation from eternal damnation’, or something along those lines !
Then I remembered, this is my houses, my time, my place of peace, my place of being in control and where I can and should be comfortable in my own thoughts and feelings so quickly but courteously I ‘Shut the Front Door’, let the negative thoughts and feelings just pass straight through me and carried on about my business, looking forward to seeing my next client.
Its now several hours later and I thought this is a good ‘pause for thought moment’. I suspect that all of us, at some time in our life have opened the door to things or people which at the time feels right and appropriate. We often feel we do this to help others, to ‘do our bit’, to be the friend or person we thing we should be. And all that is good, it makes us great, it makes us the great souls that we are or aspire to be.
But we often unwittingly keep the door open. More and more people come knocking and entering, and we continue to entertain, support and service. Slowly but surely it gets distressing, and we feel guilty if we don’t service those who have entered ‘our house’. And then after a time you find yourself feeling miserable, trying to help so many people, and they seem to keep coming, keep taking, and why not, after all your door is always open.
We often forget that there is in fact a door, a door that we opened, but it’s our door and we are allowed, without question or explanation, to close it whenever we feel appropriate. And there is nothing wrong with closing the door, after all it’s your door. You own that door and you have the right to open or close it as you see fit.
And eventually you make the call and you close the door, and as it shuts you can feel good, you get a huge sense of relief as the door shuts behind you.
And you can say to yourself, ‘Ok, so I’ve listened and reacted and done stuff to help but now it’s me, it’s time for me, time for me to do what I need to do for myself.
And the door is still there, and people can knock whenever they want to, but its my decision, my call if I choose to open the door or not.
And if I want to open the door then I can, whenever I want, but it doesn’t need to always be open, and there is no reason that it has to always be open, and there is no pressure for the door to always be open.So enjoy the idea of owning your own door, and the idea that you can close the door whenever you need to in order to sort your own house out, and you can feel good about it and that’s a nice idea.
Thanks for reading – Live Life Fearlessly